| Q: If you are in a canoe and all four wheels fall off, how many shingles does it take to shingle a doghouse?
A: None, ice cream doesn't have any bones.
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| This evening as I was driving home from rehearsal I decided to stop at McDonald's for dinner. As I was driving I noticed that the fries were particularly hot and flavorful. I realized that they were freshly made, hot out of the fryer. If you ever get a chance to have fresh french fries, please do, they're exceptional.
This got me thinking about the fries. In the 80s and 90s, amid accusations that french fries are particularly bad for you (they are), McDonald's went searching for a healthier oil in which to deep fry their potatoes. It occurred to me then that is no healthy oil. It's oil. It's one step bacon grease and one step below a slow and painful death. Anything you put in a vat of boiling oil will come out packed with saturated fats and calories. Any one who can invent a healthy french fry deserves a Nobel Prize.
How did the method of deep frying originate? I can only imagine that one day, the defenders of a medieval castle were preparing their vats of boiling oil atop their walls. One of the attackers picked up a potato and, thinking it was rock, hurled it at the defenders, where it landed in one of the vats. The oil was poured out on to the charging invaders, one of whom picked up the potato, took a bite, and after hacking some peasants to tiny bits was impressed with its flavor. He returned home and deep fried everything he ate until he died a very fat, very happy man.
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| I'm waiting for the South Koreans to get their hands on Star Craft 2 and be unimpressed by it.
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| My brother is getting married. I'm still having trouble finding people that can stand being near me for more than a day.
Fuck me running.
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| I feel sick and my heart is aching. I'm tired of being single.
What's nice about relationships is that you can be sure that there is someone in the world that actually wants to be with you.
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